Music is my Life

I have a friend who hates the expression "music is my life" but in this case I mean it slightly differently to the way she hates when people use it. Music isn't something I need in my life, it isn't like breathing or eating - but music can sum up any day you're having, any emotion you're feeling, anything you're going through in life. No matter what the occassion, there is an appropriate song that you can put on, to suit the mood.

For years and years, pretty much the majority of my internet life, I've always been incredibly into music. When people have asked "what kind of music are you into?" I've never really been able to answer, other than, I'll listen to anything once. I have to admit to not particularly being into Rave, Heavy Metal, Rap etc but there are always exceptions to the rules. I try to take each song in its own right and see if I like it for itself, rather than its genre. On the whole though I like main stream pop, R&B, rock, and dance. Obviously again, within all of these there are songs that I don't like so much but if I was generalising, it would be these genres.

Several years ago, I got out of the habit of listening to music often. It was partly to do with the people I no longer spoke to, partly to do with the life I lead (less driving, so less radio - no mp3 player, children to listen out for etc), and probably partly to do with the person I married. As much as I can fall in love with a tune, the music of a song, to me its always the lyrics that have stood out. For as long as I can remember, the words to a song have meant more than the song itself - and whilst the person I married was into music, it was never about the lyrics to them. So slowly over the years, I've detached myself from music, listen to it less, loved it less and relied on it less.

Recently, over the last few months, my love of music has flooded back. Again, this is probably to do with my change in circumstances. I have bought an iPhone and loaded it up with all the tunes I had on my laptop, along with all the ones I'd previously downloaded and saved to back up disks. Every day I try to fill my life with as much music as possible, often choosing to have it on over the TV or just silence.

Music is something that no one should live without, a little like love I suppose. The emotions that a song can evoke, the highs and the lows - you only have to look at movies and listen to their soundtracks, to realise how important music is to the emotions and mood of them.

This morning, an advert came on and the music in the background was Alexandra Burke's - All Night Long. I've been meaning to download the song for a while, so I used Shazam on my phone to locate it quickly (I LOVE SHAZAM BTW) and download it to my iPhone. As soon as I had it downloaded, I put it on and the urge to go dancing was incredible. In fact, in the end I had to turn it off, because the thought of going out and going dancing, actually made me feel pretty sad - but that's a whole other story I guess.

There are many songs in my life, that remind me of different people, different events, times in my life that I sometimes forget until I hear the song in question. Some make me happy and some make me sad, but either way I appreciate the actual function of feeling something. Sometimes my playlist can actually taunt me - do you ever get that? You put on your tunes, usually on a random shuffle, and then somehow it always manages to be songs that are currently relevant to your current situation or state of mind.

As you'll know, if you've read my previous entries, I'm currently going through a seperation from my husband of 5 years. Whilst the whole process is incredibly scary, underneath it all I feel liberated by it. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm remembering who I am again, I feel like I'm finding my feet again. Music was a huge part of my life before and slowly that seems to be coming back too.

I want to feel. I want to love. I want to be me. Even though sometimes those things will cause sadness, I want to just be grateful that I know who I am still and that I know what I want and need in life. Music is something I will never let go of again - along with the knowledge of WHO I AM.